On Being a Man, and Marriage
I am working on a statement for a friend regarding my position on sexuality, and wanted to include it here: Deeper than my marriage, deeper even than my sexuality, I am a Man. Whom I am as a man is central to my understanding of my self, my marriage, my relationships, my ministry, and my work. Since it probably isn’t obvious, let me spell out for you what that means. To me, a Man is someone who is blessed by God and nature with special and unique gifts (so is Woman, in case you’re wondering, but that’s another story). With those…
I would like you to do a private search of your memory—the memory of your life. Google your heart. I want you to type the following into the search engine of your mind: [your name] = guilty. In my case, it’s “Ramesh = guilty.” Of course, my find is extremely private. I don’t want you to be probing my pages, and I’ve password-protected it with a strong, alphanumeric password. Go ahead and type in that equation, your name = guilty. Count the number of pages that come up in your memory. A dozen pages? Thousands of results? Hundreds of thousands of results of guilty actions, guilty attitudes, guilty behaviors? Now take a peak at these private pages. Notice that some of them are relevant, even recent. You’ve become self-entrapped in your sin and guilt. You need to be rescued from your self-entrapment before you become a permanent casualty.
I was above the top of my class, I was well known and respected in my community and school, I had a solid, loving, well-off family — in short, I had every prospect of a bright, successful future ahead of me. I had everything that most of the people around me were striving for, and I realized it didn’t matter. It wasn’t worth a thing. The reason it didn’t seem worth anything was because I had no friends. I was utterly alone. I had a few people I hung around, but nobody I felt close to. Nobody really seemed to appreciate me for who I was. What was worse was that I realized I didn’t deserve any better. I knew that deep down inside I was a selfish, uncaring individual. I didn’t really love anyone else, so why should anyone love me?
Just as there were many who were appalled at him, his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likenes, so will he sprinkle many nations, and kings will shut their mouths because of him. He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
Often, many people view the resurrection of Christ merely as an historical event that supplies us with Christian doctrine without understanding the vast implications it has for believers. The following points will attempt to make the implications of the resurrection of Christ much more real and practical to us. When I experience the resurrection of Christ my personal values begin to change to more reflect the heart and character of God. What I once valued as a priority now becomes low priority so that eternal things can take the ascendancy. Jesus said that the things honored by man are detestable in the sight of God (Luke). Where once possessions possessed me, now I own nothing and steward everything. Where once I wanted to express my persona, now I want Christ in me to shine. Where once I lived for today, now I live in eternity. Where once I wanted to live for my purposes, now I endeavor to die to self for His purposes.