MY Suitable Boy was seven years older than I with a gentle Superman wave of hair at his forehead and broad shoulders that defied the reedy build of our South Indian heritage. The son of a family friend, he often visited us in our northeast Indiana town, a few miles east of the Dan Quayle museum. Affable with dinner guests and handy with sports scores, he was adored by my parents. And I realized quickly, despite my parents' denials, that they wanted me to marry him. . . . . "Suitable boy" is a term used by Indian families to describe a strong marriage candidate — someone who comes from the right religion, region, community and family background. Within my circle of American-born cousins, however, we used the term only to tease each other about our parents' marriage schemes.

Arranged marriages, until recently, have been normative in Indian culture. But now the number of love marriages is on the increase. Arranged marriages are an inconceivable idea for the westerners. Eventhough the eastern culture is considered to be too conservative, divorce rate is much less and family ties much stronger here. . . . . Eventhough love marriages are becoming more and more common in India, a recent poll in some of the major cities reveals that nearly 80% of the young people prefer arranged marriages. This is encouraging. However no two young people are alike. Even within a family one child differs so much from the other.