My name is Ryan and I am 52 years old. I battled with drugs for the most part of my life. My first puff of heroin at the age of 13 years old caused me to spend more than 20 years of my life in and out of prison.
Being a hardcore drug addict, I never spent more than 6 months outside of prison. Drugs destroyed my life and my relationship with my family members. I was a nightmare to my family and caused them so much hurt due to my addiction problem, but my mom never gave up on me.
When I am incarcerated, I always told myself and my family members that I will change my ways and never go back to drugs again. I always behaved well during my prison terms. However, upon my release, I would go back to my old habits and old friends. I chose to satisfy my own enjoyment by taking drugs and forget all the promises I made in prison to my family and myself.
I knew about God since a young age attending Sunday School, but I was never serious with God choosing to live my life my way. My last incarceration for 6.5 years was in 2009 for drug offences. I was released in 2013 and given a 6-month work programme in one of the halfway houses.
I began to get serious with God as I was sick of my life. I cleaned myself up and behave well during the 6-month programme. Due to my good performance, I was offered an opportunity to serve there as a moving supervisor. I experienced God’s goodness in my life.
He provided me with all my needs, but I did not treasure it. I squandered away God’s grace and blessings by going back to my old ways. I was playing hide and seek with God, but God saw everything and watched over me all these while.
In 2017, I eventually left the halfway house and when back to taking drugs. Within one year, I was hospitalized twice for drugs overdose. I never treasured my life choosing to throw it away, but God in His mercy sustained me even though I was far away from Him. God’s hand began to move upon my life through my Church Pastor, Pastor Ivan Lim. He recommended me to stay in Hiding Place. God favour was upon me through one of the staff, brother Caleb. They decided to open the door for me even though there is no more vacancy left in Hiding Place.
Hiding Place lives up to their motto: “As Long As We Live, We Will Open Our Door To Anyone Who Knocks.”
Before entering the Hiding Place gate, I ask myself: “What is my purpose of coming here? To give up my addiction or surrender my life to God?” At that moment, I decided to surrender my life entirely to God. God began to mould my character through the daily devotion and reading of the Bible. I began to grow spiritually by seeking God through prayers and reading His word.
The staff there showered me with love and care and were good role models on how to lead a good Christian life away from drugs. There were many ups and downs during my stay there, sometimes in conflict and friction with one another.
However, I learnt to deal with conflicts in godly ways by choosing to forgive and love one another as we are one family in Christ. God has blessed me during my time there. I managed to reconcile back to my family and treasure my time with them. I have peace and joy in my heart and no longer need to play hide and seek with God.
After completing my one-year programme, I decided to stay on and serve in this ministry as a helper. God has opened another door for me, and I was also given a chance to work as a kitchen staff in the Hiding Place Kitchen.
I am thankful and grateful for this opportunity, and I will treasure this second chance in life. I just wish to thank God and Hiding Place for injecting hope into my life again.
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